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Assessing Your Family Members
from:What does your family mean to you? If you ask this question to ten different people you will get ten distinctly different answers to this question. To some people their family may be simply the people to whom they are related by blood but nothing more than that. They do not feel the strength of the ties which many others may feel for the members of their families. There are people to whom their family is more than friends and relatives and colleagues. They are very close to their family and feel as if their family members are the world to them. These people are very close to all the other members of their family. Another answer to your question may be that the experience with the family is something people must not have. Such answers can be expected from people who belong to broken families. The kids whose parents are very strict and who beat them may be very scared and simply refuse to answer your question.
Although the family life means different things to different people in this world, psychologists are sure that the way a family behaves and the way people behave with their family members are the factors that shape the personality of that human being. Thus the unit of a family is very important. It is your duty to ensure that your family life is protected. It also is the duty of your fellow family members to pay all due attention to the family life. You must assess yourself as a family member to decide whether you are paying due attention towards your responsibilities or not. Similarly, you should assess the other members of your family and talk to them about what you think is the right way to make the family life even fuller of life and zest.
Assessing your family members does not mean to become a critic. The fact is that all of the members of the family should contribute towards a very happy family life. You must only consider those points which are affecting the family life as a whole. For example, your sister may have a habit of reading your dairies or letters with out permission. Now this may be done in good spirit, but that may hurt the privacy limits of another sibling. This may create problems. In this situation you must talk to your sister and tell her that her habit is hurting someone. To retain the close ties in the family everyone should learn to give enough space to others.
The most important fact is that you not only need to assess them but you also need to talk to them about it. If the habits of one of the family members are disturbing the others, he has to be told about it. But you have to ensure that you do all the critical work without making him or her feel bad. The actual target is to retain the strong ties of the family unit there. It is not to hurt someone or criticize someone. You must assess the other family members and ask them to fulfill their responsibility, but you must not do it in harsh tone. It is very important that you learn this trick. It is not the solution that you do not talk to your family members about the habits they should change. You have to tell them if some thing is going wrong and you want them not to behave in one particular way. Do it in a manner which looks good. Do not offend the others.
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